Are you a the Mormon friend of an intellectual apostate? Do you want to understand him or her a little better? As always when one is looking to become more tolerant, a little in-their-shoes analogy can be helpful.

Imagine a scenario:

1. You are the only Mormon in a family of agnostics.
2. You used to be agnostic too, but a few years ago you were converted by the Spirit and joined the church.
3. All your family members were very disappointed by your conversion because they raised you to believe that religion is for the weak-minded.
4. They all belong to an agnostic club, where they attend weekly meetings and discuss:
   1. reasons it is bad to believe in Mormonism;
   2. ways to deconvert Mormons;
   3. disproofs of Mormonism's claims and how to keep from being converted by Mormons;
   4. a list of All Possible Reasons People Make the Awful Mistake of Becoming Mormon, which you happen to know doesn't include your reasons.
5. You love all these people, yet believe with all your soul that the Mormonism they despise is true. You feel that they haven't given your point of view adequate consideration because they're afraid of the consequences that action might bring.
6. Because you love them, you feel a deep desire to get along with and be understood by them. However, this is complicated by the fact that you have difficulty talking to them about your views, because:
   1. your new beliefs are so far apart from theirs that it's hard to know where to start;
   2. you know the kinds of things that are said about Mormons in their club and are unsure how much of it they believe;
   3. you're afraid to find out how much of the slander they believe;
   4. you imagine they'll see your efforts as attempts at conversion.
7. Because they love you, they want to get along with and understand you. However, this is complicated, you imagine, because:
   1. they are bewildered by your choice because to them it's so clearly wrong;
   2. they know Mormons are famous for being missionaries and worry you might get all preachy if the subject comes up;
   3. their club has taught them that Mormonism is absurd and maligned the motives of those who join it, but this conflicts with their knowledge that you are intelligent and compassionate;
   4. your choice puts their own comfortable agnosticism at risk, so it's far easier to ignore it.
8. Though it's human nature to want others to see things like you do, that's far from your first concern. Outnumbered, you'd be overjoyed with a simple assurance that they allow you your new views while
   1. still respecting your intelligence, realizing that smart people disagree all the time;
   2. recognizing that you are happy and not denying that it's possible to be both religious and truly happy;
   3. giving up hope that you'll revert to your old views;
   4. trusting your ability and willingness to keep the peace and uphold mutual respect in everyday life.
9. But you're not quite sure how to overcome the obstacles in the way of mutual understanding and respect. So there is silence.

Really think about how that would be, and you'll know how people like me feel every day.